"Self-awareness [alone] will avail you nothing."

Rich Roll (The Rich Roll podcast)
-sidenote : listen-worthy podcast

 

 

I’m a huge fan of self-awareness. 

 

But I also know, self-awareness [alone] will avail me nothing!
As I once heard Rich Roll say on his podcast.

 

If I don’t transmute self-awareness into changes in the way I think and act for the good of my wellbeing, happiness and outcomes, it is worthless.

 

It's worse than worthless.

 

Self-awareness without action is a source of angst, frustration and much beating up on ourselves (never healthy or liberating).

 

So I’ve transformed my self-awareness from 2023 into pacts for 2024.

 

And in this week's Peptalk, I'm encouraging you to do the same.

 

2023 has been a year of holding myself back, in my work life at least. At times intentionally, and other times, frustratingly. It’s been necessary and worthwhile. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Even at 46, there’s still so much to learn, especially as I'm committed to self-growth and becoming a better version of myself, as I believe we all should be. Hence, my passion for the ideas I share through Peptalk.

 

To me, this is the meaning of life, to continually strive to do better and be better.

 

Author Gary Zukav calls life “Earth School”. 

 

Today as I share my learnings, I hope it will inspire you to reflect on what you’ve learned this year and the lessons you’ll carry forward into actions for next year.

 

Because I like things all matchy, matchy, I’ve done 24 pacts to match the year 2024.

 

Once I got going, it started to turn into quite a novel, so I’ll spread my 24 pacts over the last 3 Peptalks of the year.

 

Some of my pacts relate to my work, others to life in general.
 

I’m talking to myself here - but no doubt at least some of these will speak to you. 

Feel free to grab, borrow or steal the pacts that resonate with you. 

 

At the bottom you'll find a pact-printable, so you can create your own pacts.

 

Here goes - 

 

MY 2024 PACTS
(along with short explanations)
(in no particular order)

PART 1 : PACTS 1-8

 

 

1. WORRY LESS ABOUT NOT LETTING OTHERS DOWN, AND MORE ABOUT NOT LETTING MYSELF DOWN

When I stopped printing Peptalk, although there seemed to be no other choice, I felt I let people down. People who had supported me, given time and energy to help me, and people who had benefited from what was held in those pages. Although I know I gave my all, and tried many avenues to keep the mag in print, this has troubled me a lot this year. This over-worrying about letting others down is holding me back from taking Peptalk forward onto its new platform.

PACT : My moral gauge is focused on not letting myself down.
(The irony is, this will translate into being able to give my best to others too).

 

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2. F*#K PERFECTION!
 

For much of 2023, I’ve felt like I'm going around in circles with my work. #1 above - fear of letting others down, is one of the things holding me back from putting what I’ve created out there - what if I start again and can’t sustain it?

The other is PERFECTION.

 

I’ve been putting enormous pressure on myself for the next thing I create to be the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. The ultimate redemption. This is a problem because perfection is the mother-of-all stagnators.  It causes untold stress, frustration, overwhelm, and pressure.
 

PACT: Progress over perfection. Good enough is good enough!

 

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3. PEEL ONE POTATO AT A TIME - AN ANTIDOTE FOR OVERWHELM

From about age 14, through competing in elite sport, I worked with a few different mental coaches and counsellors to help me cope with the pressure and perform at my best. At one of these sessions I was getting help with the feeling of being overwhelmed. The counsellor shared an analogy that stuck with me. She said, “Imagine you’re on school camp, and you get assigned a huge sack of potatoes to peel. Don’t look at the whole sack. Just pick up one potato and peel it.”

I often remember this story when I feel overwhelmed, and it’s one I’ll be carrying with me into 2024.

PACT : Peel one potato at a time.

 

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4. BREATH

I know short bursts of stress are good for me. They get me going and keep me motivated. I also know living in a heightened state of long-term stress is seriously bad for my physical health in many ways.

 

Coupled with that, when I’m in a state of high stress, I’m not able to respond and react to life in a way that’s best for me and others.

PACT : My breath is my greatest tool for taming my stress response.
In for 4, out for 8 - long, slow, smooth.

 

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5. STRIVE TO ALWAYS DO MY BEST & MAKE MY BEST GOOD ENOUGH
 

The reality is, I CAN ONLY EVER DO MY BEST.
(My best will sometimes not be good enough and that’s ok).

This doesn’t mean making excuses.
We may be able to fool others, but we can’t fool ourselves.

PACT : I know when I haven’t done my best. But even at these times, I vowel not to dwell. Not to beat myself up. Learn and move on. Renew my vowel and do my best in the next moment.

 

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6. LET OTHERS BE UNHAPPY

For me, this one applies to the people I love most in the world, and boy is it a toughy!

I want my closest peeps to be happy, so often I tie myself in knots to try and give everyone what they need and want, both materially and emotionally.

 

Looking closely at my need to please, it’s not all about love and selflessness. Partly it’s about self-preservation. Because when the ones I love aren’t happy, I can’t be happy.

I remind myself that when I look back on my own life, it's been through the times of unhappiness, struggles, and challenges that I have become stronger and grown.

Great quote :

“I tell you: one must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

If I constantly save my loved ones from their challenges, I deprive them of their own learning and growth.

And I deprive myself of my peace and time spent on other pursuits that are also meaningful to me.

PACT : Unhappiness and challenges are a natural and necessary part of life for everyone. It’s not my job to make everyone happy, and it’s OK for me to be happy when others aren’t. I will allow them to rise and grow through their own challenges. This doesn’t mean turning my back on them, I can still be compassionate and loving while protecting myself from their ebbs and flows.

 

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7. A FANCY SERVIETTE IS NICE, BUT A HANDY TOWEL WILL DO THE JOB

I learned this one from a special person in my life. If she’s reading this, she’ll know. This is someone who went through a horrific time a few years ago. Previously she cared a lot about her house being perfect and if people were coming over she’d have all the things just right - the fancy serviettes and all.

At a recent BBQ gathering, as we were about to eat, she grabbed a roll of handy towels and casually tore them off, tossing one to each of us.

“Here you go”, she said, “Life’s too short to worry about fancy serviettes”.

Who the heck are we trying to impress? And why?

 

Her tough times had shown her what really matters, and what really doesn’t.

 

I was touched by this and always want to remember the valuable lesson this story holds. It’s coming with me into 2024.

PACT : I only have so much energy and I choose to put it into the things that really matter by not getting hung up on what doesn’t.

 

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8. I EXPECT TO SLIP, AND WHEN I DO, I GET UP AND CARRY ON.

Will I follow these pacts 100% of the time? Of course not. Why? Because I’m a human.

PACT : I vow to always remember the 80/20 rule, set realistic expectations, and when I drop the ball, I will pick it back up and carry on.
 

 

Stay tuned for pacts 9-16 next week.

For now, print the worksheet below and get started on your own pacts.

 

Don’t feel you have to come up with 24. Print as many pages of the worksheet as you need and create as many pacts as feels right.

See you next week,

Nadine 

 

 

Nadine 🤸‍♀️