For many of us the last two weeks have been spent at home. All of the myriad of things and people, places to go and things to do have been temporary removed from our lives. Even if you're an essential worker and going out to work each day, you may be able to resonate, as life has been simplified to, work and home, minus the other things you juggle outside of these two places. 

Lockdown has its unique challenges for each person, like for a parent who is working from home while juggling kids and home schooling, or if you're a business owner you could be beset with worry over your business' financial future. 

For each of us, lockdown also has it's unique silver linings.

For me, one of the most powerful ways I find I'm able to positive manage my mental health is to harness my ability to choose what I focus on.

The challenges exist.
The silver linings exists.

Something else also exists...

A wonderful thing called willpower.

I can use my willpower to spend more of my time choosing to focus my thoughts and energy on the silver linings.

One of the silver linings of lockdown, is the time and space to reflect on where we have been spending our energy, and whether this is best serving our happiness in life. It's a time to step back from life and take a look from afar at how we are spending our precious, finite time and energy. 

I came across this fantastic video which gives several impactful strategies for managing your energy in life. It takes just 15 minutes to watch, but will arm you with some awesome tools you can put into action right away. And so that when you head back out into the world, you can be a more selective sifter. 

The video is set to start about half way through. At 14.30 minutes, Dandapani starts to talk about energy, but feel free to scroll back and watch it from the start.

In this video Dandapani talks about :

• The finite amount of energy we have each day, we invest this energy into people and things until we have no more energy left. 
• Treat energy the way you treat money. It's a finite resource that needs to be wisely managed and invested.
• An example of how to manage energy vampires, in a kind and compassionate way.
• How to manage mental energy, with an exercise where you transfer negative mental energy into paper. (I love the way he gives a practical example to help those who may find this concept a little too spiritual).
  
  

Take 15 minutes to watch and learn ways to manage your energy during and post lockdown.

Each of our individual experiences of lockdown is vastly different depending on our circumstances. Are we self-employed, employed, unemployed? Is our home harmonious and a safe and enjoyable place to be? We can't control our circumstance, but we can control our thoughts. Lockdown is here, whether we like it or not, rather than 'go through it', we may as well try and 'grow through it'. Here's an impactful story that can help you to take control of the wolves (thoughts) in your mind.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is a black wolf. He is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is a white wolf. He is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”​

The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win.”

and the story goes on:

“You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and will always fight the white wolf.”
​
“But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win. For the black wolf has many qualities — tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking–that I have need of at times. These are the very things the white wolf lacks. But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.”

“You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.”

“Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowledge that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.”

“Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life. A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything. A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing.”
​
“How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. You choose : Starve one or the other, or guide them both.”

The mind has fascinated me from a young age, I was introduced to the power of the mind when I worked with sports psychologists during my gymnastics career. During my teens and early twenties my mind caused me so much turmoil that I was determined to learn ways I could make my mind, my friend. Even today, I'm acutely aware of how my experience of life is dramatically affected by how I'm feeling mentally. 

The science of wellbeing is a field that excites me, I love how the pursuit of happiness has gone from a fluffy concept to a legitimate and worthwhile goal. Science has brought us tried and tested theories and strategies to help us realise that lasting happiness is a goal we can all aspire to and achieve.

The concept below taken from the book, 'The How of Happiness' by Sonya Lyubomirsky, demonstrates that 40% of our capacity for happiness is within our control. How empowering! To discover that no matter what our genes, or our life circumstances, we have a large chunk of wiggle room to work with.

The knowledge that we have the potential to help ourselves increase our own levels of happiness got me so excited that I wanted everyone to know about it, especially given the worsening mental health situation in our society. This desire to educate and empower was my motivation behind launching the publication PEPTALK. I was determined to find an effective way to educate people with this knowledge, empower them with tools and strategies, and finally, inspire them to put it into practice.

​I wanted to plant seeds that would help others experience the rewards for themselves, because even with all of the science and research that now exists, I feel there is no better evidence than experience. 

3 ways to delve deeper and learn happiness enhancing strategies:

1. Buy the book 'The How of Happiness' here
2. Purchase back issues of PEPTALK Magazine here
3. Subscribe to PEPTALK Magazine here

Self efficacy is a person's belief in their ability to exercise control over their own functioning or over their response to events that affect their lives. 

Self efficacy is an antidote to fear and worry.

In her book, "Feel the fear and do it anyway", Susan Jeffers concludes that all of our fears boil down to one overarching fear - the fear that we won't be able to handle what comes our way in life. To combat this fear, Susan recommends a mantra to carry with us through each day. 

The mantra is:

"Whatever happens, I'll handle it"

Or shorten it to simply: 

"I'll handle it"
​
Simple and powerful, this mantra is a useful tool to build self efficacy.  Say it out loud or to yourself regularly and build up your self belief that whatever comes your way....
you DO have the strength,
the ability,
the courage,
the tools ....
​to handle it. 

In life we experience both pleasure and pain. Depending where this balance sits can have a big effect on how motivated we are to do certain things. Pain pushes us, it motivates us to get away from the thing that is causing us pain. Pleasure pulls us, it motivates us to move towards what we think will bring us pleasure.  Depending on whether you're being motivated by the push of pain or the pull of pleasure, can have a big impact on your likelihood of achieving a goal or sticking to a new habit long term.

Often the initial motivating force is pain. But if you'll observe, while getting away from pain may get you started, it's not likely to keep you going.

​Think about the last goal you set yourself or new habit you voweled to keep. What motivated you? What was the pain you were trying to get away from? 

Perhaps it was physical pain, a sore back that got so bad you finally made an appointment at the chiropractor, or was it insomnia that caused you to join a meditation class or download an app. It may have been the pain of a relationship at breaking point that compelled you reach out to a counsellor or take action to change the situation, or the stress of mounting debt that pushed you to seek expert advice and create a budget.

Often we won't act or make changes until the pain of something gets so bad we can't stand it anymore, so we reach out for help, we set a goal, or start a new daily habit.

But what happens as we progress on our journey towards improving a situation? Things will hopefully start to improve, which means the pain lessens a little. The balance of pleasure and pain evens out. 

Can you see that if your sole motivation was getting away from pain, as the pain lessens a little it becomes more bearable? You're now not so motivated to keep up those counsellor visits, do your meditation practice, or stick to that budget.

The new habit may be broken and we can slip back into our old ways and back down towards our pain tolerance threshold. Can you see how this could be the cause of a yo yo effect, preventing you from getting to your ultimate goal or experiencing the full rewards and pleasure of your new habits? This experience of yo-yo-ing can result in frustration and feelings of hopelessly. 

Now imagine your motivation is pleasure. The pleasure of physical health and being able to do whatever you like without restriction and without pain, the pleasure of a happy relationship with mutual respect and shared experiences, the pleasure of cutting up that credit card and easily paying bills, or the pleasure of a good night's sleep where you wake up refreshed and restored.

When we're being pulled by pleasure there's no end point to the motivation we feel to keep moving towards it, all the way to achieving our desired goal or outcome. So long as we keep the feelings of the pleasure we'll receive alive within us. 

Let's apply the same theory. Imagine the pain of the mental distress you're experiencing gets so unbearable that you seek help, attend a seminar, start a daily gratitude practice, or reach for a self development book.  The counselling session, therapy, or new daily wellbeing building habits begin to help and you're starting to feel better. The pain lessons. Eventually you find yourself not so motivated.

This image is a helpful visual to show the difference between traditional psychology, which is about treating illness and suffering, and positive psychology, which is about building wellbeing and flourishing.

We all have a different pain threshold or breaking point. Maybe it's a -3 that is the tipping point where you seek help or positive intervention, or it may not be until you get to a -8 or lower. At some point either yourself or someone who cares about you will push you to do something. 

If you're solely motivated by getting away from pain, at the point you start to feel ok (a zero on the scale above), there's no longer a strong push to continue on with what is working. 

​For many of us, most days we're feeling ok,  so why would we bother to actively build our wellbeing? Let's take a look at why functioning on just 'ok', is a tenuous place to be.

Life is full of stress. Things to do, places to be, balls to juggle. When everything's going to plan, most days we can manage to keep all of those balls in the air.

But what happens when trauma or adversity come along - someone you care about passes away or gets sick, you're yelled at by your boss, your car breaks down, or your partner losses their job? Any number of things can go wrong at any stage of our lives, adversity is a fact of life. Our capacity to cope with that adversity is greatly enhanced when we are mentally functioning at a high level. ie. we're sitting up at around a 7 or 8 on the positive psychology scale shown above.

But wait there's more. Psychological flourishing doesn't only protect us in times of adversity, there are all sorts of pleasurable daily rewards, like confidence, zest, creativity, productivity, good relationships, meaning, purpose, and joy. 

If you're wanting to create lasting, life long habits to flourish both mentally and physically, get more out of life, take challenges in your stride, increase your resilience to stress, and feel joyful, then it's time to focus on shifting your motivating driving force to pleasure, rather than pain.

Here's a good place to start.

In theory it appears easy, but like all things worth striving for, often in practice it's not. Recognise from the outset that building wellbeing is a daily choice. Actively increasing your pleasure motivation will help you make choices that keep moving you in the direction you want to go. The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter the closer you move towards it. Each day take another step towards it. If today is a day you take a step backwards, that's ok, tomorrow is a new day, and a new opportunity to step forward.

In my life time, since growing up in the 80's I've seen many changes in society. My kids love to talk about my childhood as "the olden days", not quite! But when I talk about things like only two TV channels, no computers, and one telephone stuck to the wall... in their eyes, that's 'the olden days'.

It's not only technological changes that we've seen over the last four decades, to me the other big changes have been in the ever increasing rules, regulations and box ticking that's part of our daily lives.

There are some things that we can tick a box for. For example, providing a physically safe work environment. We can identify hazards, mitigate these, and check in every six months or so, to tick that box.

My fear is that mental wellbeing is becoming 'just another box to tick'. For schools and organisations who are already overwhelmed with a myriad of compliance requirements, I understand why wellbeing feels like 'another thing to do' and why some may feel eager to tick that box and move on. Burn out is a hot topic right now. Why? Because it's a real threat in a society where overwhelm is the common underlying emotion many of us carry on our journey through every day.

Mental wellbeing is not a box that can be ticked, because it's never done. Mental health can be a difficult concept to grasp because we can't see it. A person can look fine and appear to be functioning, but we have no idea of the inner turmoil that may be going on inside them, until the point where it all comes crashing down. For many it's not until that moment when we mentally unravel and completely melt down, that we address our mental wellbeing. Even then we may do something like, take a break, prop ourselves up, and then solider back on.

To understand the illusive concept of mental health, let's relate it to physical health, which is tangible. When someone is physically unwell we can see it. The symptoms are visible. Furthermore, we understand that if we don't regularly do things to look after our physical health, like eat nutritious meals, exercise and get enough sleep, over time it will deteriorate. We accept that it's ridiculous to think we could eat one nutritious meal, go for one walk, or get one good night's sleep and tick our physical health box for the next six months. What we need to understand is that it's just as ridiculous to suggest we could practice mindfulness for one day, feel grateful for one day, or apply our highest character strengths to one task, and then tick off our mental health as done for the next six months.

No sorry, we can't tick the mental wellbeing box and be done with it. The good news is, there are MANY payoffs to making building mental wellbeing a daily practice. Some of them are long term, like increasing your longevity (you'll increase your chances of living longer), and others immediate, like when you make a list of all the things you're grateful for you can experience on instant shift in perspective and lift in mood.

The research tells us that these are some of the benefits we can expect to see in individuals and society from increased levels of metal wellbeing:

• Increased productivity
• More resilient to trauma
• Greater job satisfaction
• Lower incidence of heart attack
• Lower incidence of cancer
• Faster recovery from surgery
• More creative thinking 
• Fewer marriage breakups
• Improved ability to make decisions
• Increased ability to cope with stress
• Increased longevity
  Source : Robinson, 2016

Personally when I'm mentally flourishing, which means I'm psychologically functioning on all cylinders,  the differences I experience in my life, compared to when I'm not at my best mentally, are nothing short of incredible. How I function in my life and show up for myself and those I care about is like chalk and cheese. When I feel good I'm confident, motivated, creative, decisive, energised. I'm more likely to make healthy choices for my physical health,  ie. exercise and eat well. When I feel good my ability to handle an obstacle, challenge, or extra things suddenly added to my to-do list, is far greater, I seem to be able to take things in my stride. But probably what I find most rewarding of all, is that when I feel good I'm able to show up for those I care about, as a loving and patient mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunty, and friend.

If box ticking is your thing, fair enough. How about listing mental wellbeing as several boxes to tick each day.
Did I consciously choose to notice the good in my day? Tick.
Did I make time to socially connect? Tick.
Did I learn something new? Tick.
Did I do something physical? Tick.
Did I do my 'what went well list' before bed? Tick.

​Mental wellbeing consists of many small accumulative ticks each day, you'll soon discover it's addicting and it's worth it.

EXERCISE:

Make a list of your MENTAL WELLBEING DAILY TICK BOXES and post it on the fridge. How many can you tick off today, this week.... 

Nathan Wallis on the first seven years.

​Article by Nadine Hickman

​If you’re a parent or have anything to do with teaching and developing children, and you haven’t attended one of Nathan Wallis’ seminars, please please add it to your ‘must do’ list. As a neuroscience educator and child development expert Nathan captivates audiences 200+ times a year at sell out events all around  New Zealand. His popularity is due to his ability to communicate complex brain science in a simple, lively and engaging way, and give super practical, life changing advice to parents and educators.

My introduction to Nathan’s seminars was only late last year. He spoke on the first seven years of a child’s brain development and told  us about the things we can do as parents to  aid our children to develop into confident, happy people who live full and meaningful lives. What more could a parent want for their child? I’m sure many in the audience, like myself with older children,  wished they had heard these insights earlier.
​
It seems incredible that some very simple  ways of living and interacting with our children, like engaging in regular attuned one-to-one conversation with our baby in the first year of their life, or not force feeding them letters and numbers before the age of seven, can have a profound impact on their outcomes throughout their life. This is science, yet we don’t know it. Why don’t we know it?

It can take a lot to shift an ingrained culture, the good news is with dynamic presenters like Nathan working hard to spread the word, we can hope for positive shifts in thinking in the near future. So how can we as individual parents aid this process? Well, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “If you want to change the world, start with yourself”.
​
I caught up with Nathan for a phone chat to find out more about these important first seven years and what parents can do to help wire their child for happiness and positive  life outcomes.

Why are the first seven years  so important? 

Nathan says it is all to do with how the brain works. The first seven years is about building the foundation for the brain. This can be divided into two parts - the first 1000 days  and age two through to seven.

Developing your child’s brain  in the first 1000 days.

Your child’s outcomes at age 32 can be statistically predicted with a really high degree of accuracy based on the data of what has happened within the first 1000 days - from conception through to about two and a half years old. It may be complex science, but the practical applications are very simple. There are two fundamental requirements for optimal brain development in the first 1000 days.

1. The infant forms a close predominate relationship. This is called the Dyad and is often the mother, but it doesn’t have to be. The Dyad could be the child’s father, a relative or primary caregiver.
2. The Dyad converses one-to-one as much as possible with the baby, looking at them and engaging with them, up close and personal. This intimate connection through language is crucial.

The same brain you wire up through talking and interacting with your baby is the same brain that is going to do numeracy and literacy later on. It’s also the same brain that is going to help them control their emotions and have empathy for other people.

Developing your child’s brain  from age two - seven.

This ancient wisdom by Aristotle, “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man”,  is now demonstrated by modern science.

“The early years represent a real window of opportunity to build a foundation for human beings that are going to be capable of so much. What we are doing right now is creating a generation of adolescents who are encumbered with anxiety and depression, and we have the highest teen suicide rate in the world. The human brain has so much more potential than that, and the key to understanding this is the first seven years of life,” explains Nathan.

The frontal cortex, the logical fourth brain is what we typically associate with higher intelligence, numeracy and literacy, but this brain doesn’t come fully online until seven. The trouble is we are rushing children through the crucial time between the ages of two and seven when they are developing their emotional brain because we want to skip this step and go straight to their logical fourth brain.

“The big mistake we can make is by thinking that the earlier we encourage letters and numbers, the cleverer the child will be. But really, what the research is telling us is that before the age of seven this is not in the best interest of brain development, and has little benefit,” says Nathan.

The key point I picked out is something I think all parents of children under the age of seven should have up in black and white on their wall.

It’s not how smart they are,  it’s how smart they feel.

Nathan’s advice is that we need to be careful how we define success for our children under seven. If we are going to define how smart our child is by how well they can spell, add, read and write… then how smart they are under seven doesn’t matter at all. What matters is how clever they feel. That becomes their disposition. If your child hates learning and thinks they're not good enough at six and seven, it's not a good indication of a lifelong learner.

It’s important to note that by ‘freeplay’ Nathan doesn’t mean free range. The role of the teacher of a pre-seven year old child is a very important one. The role of the teacher (or a parent at home) is to enhance the child’s learning, without overwhelming them, by seizing the opportunity to integrate learning into their play.

For all those parents like me, who have children older than seven, have we missed the boat?  To answer this question Nathan likes to quote Bob the Builder, “Can we fix it, yes we can!”. Thanks to neuroplasticity, an article for another time, we do have the ability to rewire our  brains at any time. However Nathan is quick  to add, the earlier we start doing the right things, the better.

To find out when Nathan is next speaking in a town near you take a look at the events section on his Facebook page Nathan Wallis | Facebook.

Nathan shares this strategy from UK Psychologist Oliver James.

Make your child the centre of your universe for ten minutes once a week.

Choose a nominated time once a week where you let your child be in charge for 10 minutes. Allow them to choose whatever it is they want to do. You’re not allowed to check your phone or answer your phone if it rings. Initially they may come up with something really wacky just to test you, but by about session four, your child will realise that for the first time, probably in their life, they’ve got you fully available. 

How often as parents are we physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually only available for our children? We like to think that we are, but most Western kids go their whole life without ever receiving the full attention of their parent, because we are always multitasking. Love Bombing creates a special intensity of relationship, it’s powerful!

Love Bombing also creates an island of time where you can chillax with your child. Prioritise those moments. It’s not about being a super parent and always engaging in awesome activities, sometimes it’s just nice to be at home with your child and chilling. It’s good for them and it’s good for parents too!

We have to create quality time now, because we don’t have quantity time.

Article extracted from Issue #1 PEPTALK 

Reference :  Emotional Guidance Scale by Abraham Hicks, from the book Ask and it is given.

This article is an excerpt from PEPTALK Issue #1 - want to read more? Get the full issue hard copy ...

Do you sometimes overthink things?

Thinking is exhausting!
Especially when out of the approximately 60,000 thoughts you think in a day, a large percentage of them are negative. 

Thanking is uplifting! 
To feel energised and create positive outcomes in your life, here's a mantra to live by for 2021....

Saying Thank you puts your mind in a state of appreciation and gratitude. It also helps you to focus on the good. These are strategies that research tells us build mental wellbeing. Feeling thankful is also protective. When we feel good and are thriving, we are much more resilient to life's bumps and much less likely to experience mental distress. 

Thankfulness is a powerful wellbeing strategy, on the surface it seems quite simple, but its impact can not be underestimated.

Click here for a printable PDF of this mantra so you can pop it on the wall or fridge for a daily reminder to think less and thank more.

Focusing on the good  is an effective strategy that helps you build wellbeing and feel good. Evidence shows that when you feel good you function well in life, your relationships, in your work and more. Feeling good also protect you from symptoms of mental distress such as anxiety and depression.

In a year such as 2020 with all its upheaval and uncertainty, trials and challenges...  it's easy for that pesky thing called our 'negativity bias' (an evolutionary part of our wiring set up to protect us), to cause our attention to be constantly pulled towards the challenging and distressing events and situations that are happening around us and to us. 

But no matter how deep a hole you may be in or how high a mountain you may be facing, no matter how traumatic an experience, or distressing a situation is ...

... there is always, always, always something good. If you only have the will to look hard enough, you can find it.

Next and the most important piece in all of this is to know that you do have the ability to choose where you place your focus.

Shifting your focus to what is good in your world, can have an extraordinary positive effect on your mental wellbeing and physical health.

No one is suggesting that focusing on the good is always easy to do, but it is most definitely worth every ounce of effort you put into it.

I've heard many people say things like:

"I can't wait for 2020 to be over"
"Good riddance to 2020"

Sure it's understandable why they would think and say this. But the reality is every year has its challenges - yes 2020 has been exceptional on a global scale, but adversity is part of life, and pandemic or no pandemic there will always be plenty of things for us to lament if we choose to focus that way. 

Sorry to say, there's no magic that happens at midnight on December 31, that will sweep away all of the negativity in the world and paint everything rose coloured. It is and will always be up to each of us to CHOOSE to focus on the good. 

To help you in this very worthwhile pursuit, we've put together a template where you can list the good and the horrible moments of 2020. By having both sides listed right there next to each other you will be able to gain some perspective, no it wasn't all bad, there were good moments, hopefully you'll find many.

Check out our mental wellbeing magazine and the PEPTALK Book Store for inspired empowering holiday reading!

​Personally I'm a huge believer in the power of our thoughts, something that ancient wisdom has been telling us about for thousands of years. I love that modern science is now demonstrating the impact that our thoughts have on our wellbeing.

Most important is the realisation that we can take conscious control over our thoughts, which effectively gives us the ability to put ourselves in the driver's seat of our emotions and reactions to life.

It's certainly not easy, but a concerted commitment to become more aware of what you're thinking and then directing your mental dialogue in helpful directions is most certainly worth the effort.

You will see the rewards from this almost immediately. Just try it for a day.

Here's a great quote from Shakespeare to illustrate this :

With any difficulty of any kind it is the mental attitude that you bring to it that matters. It's your own thought toward the unwanted circumstance or the person who has not acted as you would like, that determine its affect on you.

What matters to you is not people or things or conditions in themselves but the thoughts and beliefs that you hold concerning them.

It's not the conduct of others but your own thoughts that make or mar you. 

You write your own history for tomorrow or for next year by the thoughts that you entertain today.

Today's a good day to notice and carefully select those thoughts you choose to think...

One of the many poignant facts that Dr Hone shared from her research is that :

Only 24% of NZ's working population is psychologically flourishing.
Hone et al. (2015)

The goal of wellbeing science, is not only to reduce mental illness, it's to help us to really thrive and flourish.

There are things (not plucked from the latest self-help book, but grounded in research) that we can do each day to take us to that state of flourishing, but as Lucy Hone also pointed out there is a gap between knowing and doing - it's called surprise surprise - "The knowing / doing gap". 

Knowledge is never enough, we must also be able to apply that knowledge. 
Being aware that there is such a thing as the 'knowing/doing gap' is empowering in itself.

Now you can start to ask yourself the questions to take you from knowing... into doing so that you can start to see evidence of moving towards flourishing in your wellbeing and life.

Questions for reflection to begin to bridge the knowing / doing gap

What's your motivation for staying well and thriving?
Why do you want to feel good and function well?
What's in it for you and for those you care about?

What will motivate you to make the routine efforts required?
How can you sustain this motivation?

Who will support you?
Do you feel confident to reach out and ask for their support?

Let's apply the above questions to one of the most simple but profound wellbeing strategies...
the practice of gratitude:

Wellbeing science tells us that it's worth the effort to seek out, acknowledge and spend time appreciating the good things in life. Practicing gratitude has many benefits that help us to feel good and thrive.

There are two aspects to practicing gratitude -

1. Noticing, appreciating and savouring good moments and good things during the day.
2. Writing down 3 things you are grateful for each morning and each night.

Dr Lucy Hone emphasis's that language is important when it comes to motivating ourselves to do the things that will build our wellbeing.

Gratitude' may not ring your bells... so how about calling it your 'What went wells' or as they call it in the military 'hunting the good stuff'.

Finding the language that works for you is a great first step in closing the knowing/doing gap.
What other strategies can you put in place to commit to regularly practicing this life changing strategy?

Here's some ideas:

• Have your gratitude journal beside the bed as a visual reminder.
• Set reminders on your phone every 3 hours - eg. 'Stop and notice the good' to remind you during the day to pause, appreciate and savour.
• Express gratitude - tell others that you're grateful for them and why - double the feel good.
• Take notice of the changes in how you feel because of this positive action, to motivate you to keep going. Bonus points : record these changes in your journal.
  
  How else can you close your knowing/doing gap?
  

A summary of Dr Hone's presentation from our launch event will be available in Issue 3 of PEPTALK Magazine, which is released 1 December....

Each Monday I write a Monday morning PEPTALK to send to our community... Usually this 'Monday PEPTALK' arrives to inboxes first thing in the morning. Today it's a little late. The reason is, I hit a bump. A bump in the road. A 'bump' is an inconvenient, completely annoying, or infuriatingly irritating happening that can happen at any time or any day and usually results in knocking us off track or slowing us down.
 
My bump :
We were away in the weekend and as I sat down to write Monday's PEPTALK I realised I left my computer charger in the motel room. We have no other charger in the house for my laptop and the battery is on 14%.  
 
My immediate response to this realisation was at first physical - breathing and heart rate sped up, feeling hot and starting to sweat. This is the body's sympathetic nervous system taking over, a threat has presented itself and I now have to get ready to fight or flight. Next comes the mental response - my brain starts catastrophizing, thinking of all of my plans for the day and to-do list disturbed, my precious time being eaten up now having to deal with this, and my brain starts to recall all of the other little stresses nagging at me and piles them on top.
 
STOP! Reality check!
 
I left my computer charger behind.
I am not being chased by a sabre toothed tiger.
I can handle this.
In fact I can learn and grow from this.
 
I had an entirely different PEPTALK lined up for today, but my 'bump'  has given me the opportunity to share an even more important message ....

Close your eyes. Take 3 long, slow breaths into your belly, in through your nose, out through your mouth, make the exhale twice as longer as the inhale. As you exhale, relax your shoulders and allow yourself to let go. This will take you back into the parasympathetic nervous system, where it's possible to calmly and rationally deal with the situation. ​

Turn the bump from an annoyance to an opportunity. Pivoting is a powerful skill and we all have the ability to do it. Like any other skill, you can improve your ability to pivot through practice. ASK : How can I use this as an opportunity to practice a new way of dealing with stress? 
 
Stress is a part of life. If you are alive, then things are going to go wrong, you are going to experience bumps in the road most days of your life. Learning to deal with the bumps calmly and rationally and minimising the level of mental and physical stress they cause, is one of the most important skills you can learn to master.
 
Deciding that you are going to use this bump as an opportunity to develop your skill of handling bumps, will immediately change your focus.

In the scheme of life, how big actually is this? By blowing it out of proportion you can allow this bump to ruin your whole day, potentially your whole week if you really get on a negative roll.
 
It can be the start of a flow on effect of one thing after the other going wrong, or it can be a simple isolated bump that you deal with and move on. You are in control of how big this gets. A question to ask is, 'Will this matter in a year?'. Chances are it won't, so don't allow it to monopolise your day.

In resilience expert Dr Lucy Hone's 'Three secrets of resilient people' she shares the strategy of asking - "Is this helping me or harming me?".  One example is to use this question to help you decide whether to share your bump with others and if you do, who to share it with. 
 
Ask - Will talking about this bump with others help me or harm me? 
What will they say and will that make me feel better or worse? 
 
In my situation if I share this wee hiccup I can imagine some members in my family might say, "Oh, you are so hopeless, you're always leaving things behind!".
(I do have a bit of a reputation for this!). Will this make me feel better or worse? Probably worse!
 
If you feel you want to share your bump for support, then choose carefully who you share it with. Choose someone who will listen and respond with supportive comments.
 
Secondly consider - is talking about it helping you to deal with it and move on, or keeping you stuck in the situation? Either answer is fine, the important thing is you stop and consider your course of action so you can consciously decide what is most helpful to moving through this with minimal stress.
 

Control the controllables - This is about focusing your energy on the things you can control. Can you do anything about this situation / bump? If yes, what is it and take action. If not, you will need to find a way to let this go for now and shift your focus to some other aspect of your day. In my case, now I'm feeling calm I can start to logically think through the situation... Most of the work I need to do today is cloud-based, I could use my husband's computer to complete my tasks, not perfect but it will work.
 
Get over it and get on with it. The longer you sit and lament the problem or beat yourself up over it, the more time you'll waste. Further more, when your stressing and fretting you shut down your ability to think of creative solutions.
 
Later I thought of an idea to post on Facebook to ask if anyone has a charger I could borrow for my laptop. By 9am problem solved! I now have a charger to borrow, the motel has been phoned and my charger is on the courier. 
 
Minimal stress, minimal fuss, minimal time wasted.

I hope this helps you the next time you inevitably hit a bump. 

This morning I woke up anxious! It's been happening quite often lately. But this morning, right there in my instagram feed was a video that felt like it was placed there just for me! Following Mel's 6 steps had such a calming effect on me I had to share....

If there was ever a year that could cause anxiety 2020 is it! But the greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity for growth. The reality is life has always been rocky and uncertain, plans have often been altered or changed at the last minute. 2020 has taken something that already existed for us to a whole new level. Which means we can find a whole new level of resilience to deal with it.

Applying strategies like Mel Robbins' 6 steps may seem simple, but often the simplest of things are the most profound. As Mel says, "Anxiety is a normal part of life and by having a simple process for meeting it and not reacting to it but responding to it, you will see a profound difference in your ability to move through your life and face the road blocks and obstacles that life throws at you and just keep rolling down the highway."

If feelings of anxiety are something you've been battling lately, I encourage you to watch Mel's short video explanation below and apply these 6 steps to find calm and composure at the start of each new day.

By Daina Crosbie

I was in my early 20’s and I had just started my primary teaching career. Some days I would wake up with that delightful feeling where I felt a spring in my step, the colours around me seemed brighter, I smiled often, and things just seemed to flow throughout my day. But more often it would be the opposite. I felt like I had woken up ‘on the wrong side of the bed’, many things felt like a battle, I was agitated by everything in sight and I couldn’t wait for the day to end. I knew something needed to change. 
​
Luckily as a part of my teaching degree I was introduced to a simplified version of a Māori framework, Te Whare Tapa Whā- developed by Professor Mason Durie. This was my first introduction to a holistic well-being.

Te Whare Tapa Whā comprises of four pillars. Taha Tinana-our physical well-being, Taha Whanau, our family and social well-being, Taha Hinengaro-our mental and emotional well-being and Taha Wairua-our spiritual wellbeing. 

The framework  is centred on the concept of being structurally sound. If we think of our Hauora/well-being like a whare/house, at the bottom we are built upon our land/roots, our four walls are made up of our Taha Tinana, Taha Whanau, Taha Hinengaro and Taha Wairua. All four walls are necessary to establish strength and symmetry, and when they do, we are at our best. 
​
As the world advances, I have noticed that many of us are so busy with our jobs or our children that we forget to stop and be aware of what actually helps us to maintain a strong sense of well-being.

In my early 20s I used the Te Whare Tapa Whā framework. It helped me to look at myself through gentle eyes when I was struggling, and life just didn’t seem as bright as it used to. Fast forward 10 years, it is now a measure that always brings me back to feeling and being my best self.

​When my Taha Tinana/Physical well-being is strong:

• I am sleeping well
• I am exercising consistently, not too intensely and my body recovers well from workouts
• I eat a balanced diet of mainly whole foods and have limited cravings for less nutritional foods

Taha Tinana relates to how well we look after our physical growth and development. Often if things aren’t going so well in our Physical well-being it can be more obvious that something needs to change. From my experience success is achieved through just starting, along with consistency. Just trying something new has been a helpful tool to finding what works.

When my Taha Whanau/Family and social well-being is strong:

• I feel happy and at peace 
• ​I feel a sense of belonging
• The relationships around me feel easy and light
• I am spending my time with people who lift me up

Taha Whanau is the health of our family. Family can mean different things to different people. There’s that saying ‘friends are the family we choose for ourselves.’ Research shows that social connectedness is just as important for our health as eating nutritionally and exercising.

When my Taha Hinengaro/Mental & Emotional well-being is strong:

• I am eating and exercising in a balanced way
• I wake up happy to start my day
• I can face daily challenges with resilience
• I am putting effort into my work, the relationship with myself, and others
• I am more grateful of the things I have in life

Often Taha Hinengaro is characterised as just our ‘mental health.’ In my opinion there is a lack of understanding about the term and the conecpt. I like to think of it as our mind, how it connects to our heart, our conscience and our thoughts and feelings. It’s about how we think which is directly related to the way we feel, act and communicate. This is important for everyone to consider, whether we feel as though we have had experience with a mental illness or not. Often the way we deal with daily setbacks that are out of our control, can be a measure of the strength of this pillar. 

When my Taha Wairua/Spiritual well-being is strong:

• I am journaling regularly
• I feel a sense of purpose
• I feel a sense of connection and belonging
• I am more grateful for life’s lessons, even in adversity
• I am actively setting goals and reflecting on my progress

Taha Wairua is known as our ‘spiritual well-being.’ This pillar is our life force. It’s who we are, what drives us, and a sense of purpose of where we’re going. It is different for everyone, and yes for some it may mean religion and for others it’s an internal connection-understanding ones values and beliefs, bringing about self-awareness and identity. Knowing who we are and having a sense of purpose are both directly related to our overall happiness. 

This weekend was a special family time as our extended family gathered to farewell a life well lived. We reflected on the life of a man who had lived his life putting family and people first, with an open door policy on the family home, he had spent a life time welcoming family and friends from near and afar. And as a result he lived a full and rich life. 
 
Many people at the gathering, including myself, felt inspired to find more time for the people in our lives. On the back of our COVID19 Lockdown, it was another call to keep life simple, and focus on what's really important. 
 
Then today, I feel the predicament as I wonder how to create more balance in my life. I know many other parents who are also finding themselves swept up in the busyness of life and activities, we said we wouldn't live like that again, but suddenly we are.
 
Then I saw this William A Ward quote - 
 
"A well developed sense of humour is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope of life"
 
What a great analogy. Rather than chasing that magical elusive "balance", we could accept that life is always going to be like walking on a tightrope, (especially if you're someone with ambition, who wants to mix that with people, fun and good times). We could shift our focus to working on developing our sense of humour, so we can keep it light as we navigate this tightrope called life.
 
But how do we embrace and build our sense of humour? We are all born with a sense of humour, just watch a child, they find all sorts of things funny! But through life in all its seriousness, this sense of fun can be slowly withered away. Here are some tips to spark your innate sense of humour back to life...
 
7 TIPS TO DEVELOP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR 

1. Watch comedy and comedians - the more you observe, watch and laugh, the more you'll pick up on the little nuances of life. A comedian could explain something that you've seen, heard, or done a thousand times but the way he looks at it is different to the way most people look at it, and it's hilarious. By immersing yourself in humour, you're going to start to notice things in the outside world that are funny.
   
   
2. Surround yourself with funny people. Everyone likes being around people who are funny, because laughter feels good. When you have a good belly laugh, it feels amazing, endorphins are released, you're smiling and it enhances your mood. Being around funny people will also enhance your ability to recognise funny situations.
   
   
3. Practice being humorous. The more you practice telling funny things, jokes, or antidotes, the better at it you'll become.
   
   
4. Look for humour in everyday situations.
   
   
5. Don't over do it or try too hard. Being funny is something you do in spurts, like sprinkling fairy dust.
   
   
6. Know the line between joking around and being mean, and take care not to cross that line. Don't joke about things about people that they can not change.
   
   
7. Work on your ability to laugh at yourself.

 
There you have it, 7 tips to work on developing your sense of humour, to help you balance on the tightrope of life... now there's a great focus for your week ahead!

We constantly hear about being resilient to change! Changes are usually made by others,
such as our policy makers, employers, service providers and while they might ‘rip our
nighties’ at the time, we invariably succumb and quickly forget.

But what about changes we make for ourselves… you know the hard ones, the ones you’ve
been thinking about for ages and for some reason keep putting off? When you begin
thinking about making a change, do you feel overwhelmed or just plain scared?

​You are in good company, a lot of us lack courage to make positive changes!

Our brain is like a conservative investment fund - you get a return, but nothing like you
could get with a little more risk!

Our ‘want’ to change thoughts are pushed back by our brain’s ‘need’ to be secure thoughts
which naturally oppose each other. Our subconscious brain is designed to keep us alive and
out of harms way and it will do ANYTHING to keep us in our familiar place. It’s more
powerful than any computer - and it NEVER switches off! So, during your waking hours you
can be contemplating change while your subconscious is sabotaging those ideas while you
are asleep and unaware!

Cunning indeed!

Courage begins in our Conscious Brain!
Courage is required for anything new to us and for things previously tried that didn’t end
well. Although we mostly run on auto pilot, do you remember how you felt the first time
you went to school, drove a car, started work, or had your first date? I was terrified before I
mastered any of those situations! When you do things successfully, your subconscious files
those experiences in the “Safe” box. It has hundreds of different boxes and has recorded
everything that has happened since you were born. Now, when you want to do something,
your subconscious searches those boxes until it finds a similar experience and then either
approves or disapproves. If it doesn’t find a similar one, it MUST be too scary to do!

​

Subconscious Brain :
“You know what happened the last time you
did that… the same will happen
again!”

​

​Childhood memories affect todays decisions!
Let’s say, you had a bad experience at the dental clinic when you were a child. Your
subconscious saved that to the ‘Scary’ box, so even though you are an adult, the mere
thought of the dentist has your subconscious waving the ‘Scary’ flag while evoking the
original feelings you had back then! Yes, not only does it store memories, it also stores
feelings!

I had a meeting with a Tarantula in Australia. I was 8 years old; it was the size of a dinner
plate and was blocking my only escape route - the bedroom door! Beyond petrified, I was
insanely trying to climb the farthest wall to escape…. what was I thinking? Was I going to
punch through the ceiling? The point was I wasn’t thinking consciously, the fight, flight or
freeze part of my brain had taken control!

For the following 16 years, every time I saw a spider, no matter how small, adrenaline would
surge through my body, I couldn’t breathe and I ran. My subconscious was waving the
‘Scary’ flag and even though this spider was tiny, my brain didn’t care, and I felt the same
fear grip me. The embarrassing situations this caused make me smile now but running out
of toilets with my pants down or balancing on the back of a friend’s sofa while her husband
removed an innocent arachnid destroyed my dignity!

Courage to Tame the Beast- YOU can do it!
Although our subconscious brain is stubborn, we can force it to accept ‘updates’. By
working with a professional, my phobia was cured in 10 minutes flat by retraining my brain.
I was tested though. The following week, they were everywhere. Under my daughter’s
quilt, in my car and one even appeared in the shower! Nope, nothing, no running,
screaming or loss of consciousness ensued….. I even had the courage to look at their little
faces. My life was changed!

Back to the dentist scenario, we need to question whether the TRUTH and BELIEF we
experienced as a child is still relevant today.

Questions to consider:

1. Although it was scary, was it because no one explained what was going to happen? You can ask the dentist to explain everything before you consent to begin, or even prior to making the appointment.
2.  Although it was painful, is that pain still normally experienced today? Dental
   treatment can be pain free with the right anaesthetic and reassurance from your
   dentist.
   
   

Desire + Courage + Action = Successful Change

Desire- Define what you want to change and why:

• Why do you desire this change?
• How will it benefit you?
• What will your life be like when you achieve this?
• Can you picture what you will be doing in your life when you have this?
• How will you feel? Will this make you feel more confident, will you walk differently,
  will you be driving a different car, will people notice and respect you more?
• Spend time on each of these questions. Close your eyes and really ‘see into your
  future’ and hold onto the positive feelings it brings up for you. Take a few moments
  to soak up those positive feelings while you picture your success.
• Now, do you REALLY want this? Yes, carry on…
  ​
  

• What exactly are you afraid of?
• What are the chances of that happening?
• If that did happen, what would that mean for you?
• Could you try again with a different strategy?
  ​

Courage increases when we gather a support team around us, for those moments when we
might doubt ourselves after a minor setback. Your support team could be a mixture of
friends, family and maybe a professional mentor who genuinely understands what it means
for you to achieve this.

Action - Are you READY to commit to this now? If you are, then read on….

• Develop a “Big Picture” of your success – You don’t need loads of details, just what
  you are aiming for and what you will be doing and how your life will have improved
  once the change has happened. Draw and jot ideas on a big sheet of paper or write
  out a list or maybe record a video of yourself explaining talking about your goal. A
  style that resonates with the way you think is ideal.
• Now, put a time frame on it. What date will you achieve this by? Be thoughtful
  when considering this, if you don’t allow enough time, you may become frustrated
  or if it’s too far away, you could start procrastinating!
• Next, jot down the things you need to do to achieve this goal. Put down everything
  you can think of! You may find this daunting, but this is when your support team
  comes in handy.
• Break these actions down into little tasks and assign dates to them. If you want to
  reach your goal in 6 months, what would you need to have achieved by 3 months?

Then, if you have achieved that in 3 months, what would you need to achieve in 6
weeks? Keep going until you have weekly actions to get you to your goal!

• Finally, take the step and begin!
  
  

Courage Check Ins –
Courage needs a booster shot regularly, so catch ups with your support team are useful. Doesn’t need to be flash, just 30 minutes over a coffee! It’s easy to slip into negative thinking when you hit a speed bump. Remember it’s just your subconscious trying to keep you safe and stop you being hurt. We can reduce this negative self- talk by using the “Catch, Challenge, Change” process, which was developed by Vicki Thondley, Director of Mind Body Food Institute in Australia.

• CATCH the negative thought.
• CHALLENGE its validity (Is it true? Is this thought helping me get to my goal? Maybe
  it was true once, but I can release it now).
• CHANGE – replace that negative thought with a true positive one. (“You’re not good
  enough to do this” replace with “I AM good enough and courageous enough to do this!”)
  
  

So, to summarise, if you need courage to change something:

1. Understand how your subconscious is trying to protect you.
2. Learn to give it positive “updates” regularly.
3. Acknowledge your feelings.
4. Gather a support crew.
5. Focus on what you want.
6. Break down steps into little tasks.
7. Take the first step.
8. Do one thing every day towards your goal.
9. Desire + Courage + Action = SUCCESS

What do you think would happen if for 7 days you did not allow your mind to think one single negative thought?

Imagine if you could go 7 whole days without dwelling on one thought of fear, regret, judgement, criticism, frustration, overwhelm, lack, negation, or doubt....

WILL YOU TAKE UP THE 7 DAY MENTAL DIET CHALLENGE ?

Ok, so you may not be ale to control the thoughts that come to your mind, but you can control which ones you allow to stay there. It's just like you can't control who turns up at your doorstep, but you CAN decide who you let in.

What's required is for you to post a sign at the door way to your mind, just like this one:

We've designed this sign for you as a phone wallpaper, a desktop background, and an A4 wall poster so you can display these words everywhere you look, for constant reminders during the day, to help you stay focused during the next 7 days of mental dieting.

You're going to need reminders, especially when you get busy and preoccupied, or something happens to throw you off. Just as with a physical diet, temptation is everywhere so you're going to have to be strong. Negative thoughts are sneaky little things!  They'll pop into your mind and take over your consciousness, if even just for a moment, you let down your guard and give them a chance.

CLICK BELOW TO DOWNLOAD YOUR "NONE BUT THE POSITIVE AND THE GOOD SHALL ENTER HERE" SIGNS FOR YOUR PHONE, COMPUTER, AND PRINTABLE WALL POSTER.

The single force the controls the quality of your life, is your thoughts. And this video gives you some insight in to why.

Some may say it is our beliefs that determine our lives, and yes this is true, but if we break this down we will discover that our beliefs come from our thoughts. What is a belief except a thought that you once thought, and then you continued to think it over and over, until it became a belief. 

The important and EXCITING thing about THOUGHTS is that they are also the ONE THING you have control over in this world.

YOU CAN CHOOSE WHAT YOU THINK.

As demonstrated in the video above, there is a constant cycle happening in your life ... the cycle goes like this :  thoughts ... emotions ... behaviours ... outcomes ... thoughts ... emotions ... and on it goes. 

Most of us are pretty much stuck unconsciously in this cycle, most of the time. 
But you don't have to be. There's a single point of power in which you can break this cycle. That point of power, is the point of your thoughts.

There is nothing more powerful than changing your thoughts. You can try to change your circumstances, but if you don't change your thoughts, the same types of experiences end up happening over and over again, because you changed something outwardly, but nothing changed inwardly.

Right now, many people are going through challenging times, uncertain times, unsettling times. It is a time of great change and change can be extremely stressful. You may not be able to change your circumstances right now, you can not change your destination overnight, but you can change direction at any moment by changing your thoughts.

Of course if it were easy, everyone would be doing it! Negative thoughts are addictive and all consuming.

Here are a three steps to help you start to change your thoughts...

STEP ONE : Acknowledge the power of your thoughts.
Getting a sense for and grasping the incredible power of your thoughts is the greatest step you can take towards SELF EMPOWERMENT.

STEP TWO : Become conscious of your thoughts.
Consciously monitor your inner conversation. Pay attention to what your thoughts are saying to you. Notice how many of them are negative. Write them down if it helps.

STEP THREE : Replace thoughts that don't serve you, with new positive empowering thoughts.
You may not be able to stop negative thoughts coming to your mind, but you can choose not to entertain these thoughts. You can shut them down the moment they enter. You can say to yourself, 'No, I'm not going to accept that thought." Then you can replace it with a new thought. Withdraw your attention from the thoughts you don't want, and place your attention on thoughts you do want. This ability to control the direction of your attention, is the key to a happy life.

JUST START
There are many factors that cause you to think the thoughts you think ... habit, beliefs formed in childhood, beliefs passed on from your parents, the result of past experiences - good or bad... but you don't have to figure all of that out... you could very simply start today to take control by noticing and replacing the thoughts you don't want, with new thoughts. You may not be able to make a radical shift in one day, but you could start to break the cycle.

BUILD ON THE MOMENTUM
Start to notice how your new thoughts, lead to new ways of speaking and acting... and in turn lead to different outcomes in your life... which in turn make it easier to continue to think better thoughts. See how you can turn a negative cycle into a positive one, with just a little bit of effort in changing one thought at a time. Change the momentum from negative to positive, and then build on this momentum. 

FROM WOO WOO TO SCIENCE
The power of thoughts was once seen as little 'woo woo', but now it's exciting that this idea is backed by massive amounts of science and research. The above video features world respected neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza...  Academic researcher Dr Lucy Hone says, "We have a choice in how we think... ".

The KEY MESSAGE here is that it IS a choice. Sometimes it may not feel like you have a choice, thoughts are powerful, but you are stronger than any thought, and you have the power to change the thoughts that don't feel good.

Like anything, no amount of fact, science, research or expert testimony means a thing, if you don't apply the strategy in your life. Now it's time for your very own science experiment, with you as the guinea pig, get started right now, this very moment, on taking control of your thoughts, and discovering the results.

Happy thinking! 
​

One of my go-to strategies in moments of overwhelm or despondency, is to pop in my headphones and listen to an inspiring, uplifting, insightful Youtube clip. 

The reason I do this is because it's a means to flip the script that's playing in my mind. When that voice in my head is negative, it can be one of the hardest things to summon up the will to change what it's saying, it feels so real and so true and so all encompassing.

Rather than go to battle with that voice, it's much more effective and gentle to tune out that voice, and tune into a voice of hope and inspiration. 

If you can find a way to believe something that is more empowering than you were believing a moment before, and that new belief can find its way into your actions...  this is the secret to a horrible day becoming a wonderful day, or an average day becoming an exceptional day.

I have some favourites Youtube clips that I save and listen to over and over, or sometimes I'll just scroll through the Youtube feed and see what resonates with me at the time. 

Last week, I came across this rendition of the 'Desiderata'. This powerful poem has been a favourite of mine for many years, and it seems so fitting in these challenging times. 

To me, the 'Desiderata' portrays the perfect balance of ebb and flow, striving and surrendering, achievement and contentment, optimism and realism, discipline and gentleness... and encompasses all aspects of a happy and wholesome life.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and that it helps to flip your script... save it to your favourites and revisit it each day. 

Below is the beautiful rendition Youtube video of the 'Desiderata', and also a PDF copy for you to print and pop up in your home or office. The more reminders you surround yourself with to trigger an empowering mindset, the better!

By Ashlee Hickman - PEPTALK Magazine Youth Editor

Being a teenager, juggling school, out of school activities, youth editor of PEPTALK magazine, and my very own small business it's so crucial to keep a strong mental well-being, especially during the time we're going through right now. It's important to keep yourself busy, but relaxed, it's a great opportunity to get a breather from life's challenges. What I'm most excited for coming out of lockdown is adopting all of the new, good habits I have gained during this time. Such as, keeping a consistent morning and evening routine, working-out every week day and going hard at it, and learning to relax and enjoy time with my family.

​So I challenge you tonight, before the next week ahead starts, ask yourself:  What have I managed well? What do I need to improve on? How can I be the best version of myself? Plus try to set a couple of goals to keep you on course.

Have a great week,