 By Guest Author : Cherie Hawkins Let’s Cut To The Core Personally I suffer from bright light syndrome but the one thing that keeps me grounded are my core values. They’re my foundation and I know when things are off course it’s because I’m not listening to them or to my intuition (to be in-tune). It’s those times where I struggle the most and ask myself endless questions: ... why am I feeling like this ... why is this person getting to me so much Why is he/she being such a dick ... why am I so sensitive blah blah blah You know the ones. I remember meeting my now husband (he from London, me from South Auckland) and we were very different human beings with different human doing tendencies but I remember thinking the more serious things got the one thing we had in common that remains to this day was our same core values. How Did Those Core Values Reveal Themselves? I saw how much he loved and adored his mum. He saw how much I protected and cherished my kiwi brothers and sisters (and yes of course the random Aussie and Yappie) at our home away from home. He cooked and nurtured his best mate from “Up North” of England of Indian descent who loved nothing better than his Sunday roasts. He heard me talk to my Nana from a phone box in Hastings (the UK one) and only after I hung up did he say she sounded like Dame Edna Everage. Later on he met her (Nana not the Dame) and like the rest of us loved her quick wit and stoicism. You see it was those core values that has kept us grounded some 20 odd years later. It’s not been without its challenges and there have been many times where we’ve had to push the reset button and pick ourselves up to start again but that’s how we’re all feeling right now as we navigate this new normal. Time To Push The Reset Button Right now our core values are something we need to strengthen because it’s been a bit of a wild ride right. It’s natural to feel a range of emotions after such unbelievable events so what can we do to steady those ups and downs and twists and turns? We don’t know what this new normal is even but word from the street is the majority of us want things to be better, easier, less stressful, less chaotic and more of the connectivity, more care, more togetherness and the list continues... Opportunity Knocks For employers it can be an opportunistic time to get to know their employees on a much deeper level; what their TRUE core values are and what direction do they wish to go in. Let’s face it for many of us we play lip service with the boss when really we want to:
How cool would it be if you shared your own unique purpose that sits at the core of who you truly are? Telling stories about how you feel does mean you’re vulnerable whether you’re the boss or not, but isn’t it a damn sight better than “faking it”? Being humble and vulnerable are powerful core values. We can see everyday how badly it goes for leaders home and away who don’t behave with humility or vulnerability as part of their values system. Ikigai | Time To Serve A Greater Purpose Have you heard of the Japanese term Ikigai? Iki - means life and gai - means value or worth, and in simple terms it’s what gets you up in the morning (not in the alarm clock sort of way or the beeping dog needs to go to the loo again way either).  It’s all about finding your purpose, your passion, and it manifests into “the value of life or the happiness of life”. I think Ikigai for me and for most at this time is to focus on not just what I/we want/need but also what the world as a whole wants/needs. Imagine what a positive impact on our family, community, city, region, country and around the world if we understood and nurtured the value of life over all else? Not just our life either; the life of the planet, our environment, the greater good. Cause and Effect There is and always will be “cause and effect”. What happens at home impacts what happens at work and vice versa. What happens there then impacts our community. Our emotionally intelligent core values as a community can allow us to take care of ourselves as well as others which means our city or region not only has a chance to survive but thrive. If those set of core values are carried into our nation as a whole that influences others around the world. What Would Alice Do? “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where—” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. I love Alice but let’s not be the Alice in this quote. Let’s put down that funny tonic, stop talking to the cat and draw up a set of emotionally intelligent new rules. When we cut to the core we don’t want to see any rotten bits - we want to see new growth so the world around us heals and flourishes. Thank you Cherie for sharing your insightful words to inspire and encourage others to delve deeper into their core values, to find their purpose and to passionately and whole-heartedly follow it.
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THE 7 DAY MENTAL DIET - TAKE THE CHALLENGE!What do you think would happen if for 7 days you did not allow your mind to think one single negative thought? Imagine if you could go 7 whole days without dwelling on one thought of fear, regret, judgement, criticism, frustration, overwhelm, lack, negation, or doubt.... WILL YOU TAKE UP THE 7 DAY MENTAL DIET CHALLENGE ? Ok, so you may not be ale to control the thoughts that come to your mind, but you can control which ones you allow to stay there. It's just like you can't control who turns up at your doorstep, but you CAN decide who you let in. What's required is for you to post a sign at the door way to your mind, just like this one:  We've designed this sign for you as a phone wallpaper, a desktop background, and an A4 wall poster so you can display these words everywhere you look, for constant reminders during the day, to help you stay focused during the next 7 days of mental dieting. You're going to need reminders, especially when you get busy and preoccupied, or something happens to throw you off. Just as with a physical diet, temptation is everywhere so you're going to have to be strong. Negative thoughts are sneaky little things! They'll pop into your mind and take over your consciousness, if even just for a moment, you let down your guard and give them a chance. CLICK BELOW TO DOWNLOAD YOUR "NONE BUT THE POSITIVE AND THE GOOD SHALL ENTER HERE" SIGNS FOR YOUR PHONE, COMPUTER, AND PRINTABLE WALL POSTER.
MENTAL DIETING TIPS :Keep a notebook to help make the most of your 7 Day Mental Diet. In your notebook, record: 1. Mantras & Good Thoughts These are the things you will replace negative thoughts with, or use to recite when you're preoccupied or busy. Write down some positive one liners you could fill your mind with. Here are a few examples to get you started:
EMPTY SPACE IS STILL A PLACE... If you don't fill your mind with good, it will fill with negative. Use your good thoughts and mantras to fill your head with so much good, the negative can't get in. 2. Celebrate the wins Use your notebook to celebrate the wins. You may be surprised the good things that start to come your way when you think good thoughts, and eliminate negative ones. You may notice some things that seem like coincidences or synchronicities, that are actually the result of your more positive mindset and vibration. Record the good happenings, even the smallest of things, so you can see the evidence of your hard work on the mental diet. This will encourage you to keep going. 3. Gratitude Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions! To really ramp up your 7 Day Mental Diet, each day list all of the things you're grateful for. List things that you've had in the past, things that you now have, and also write down things you are grateful for that are coming your way in the future - express your gratitude for the past, present and future. Start the day out right How you start out the day is vital to how the day ends up going. I really encourage you to commit to going to bed half an hour earlier and rising half an hour earlier (make it an hour if possible). Spend this quiet time in the morning to sit and read over your good thoughts and mantras, and brainstorm some more to add to the list. Record your gratitudes past, present and future, and read over the entries from previous days. Fill your heart and mind with gratitude and good. Use this time to sit with your thoughts, take some long slow breaths and get yourself in to a mentally peaceful and strong place for the day. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it! Remember this is only for 7 Days, you CAN do this! If you fall off the horse and become overwhelmed with negative thoughts, just reset and start again, get back on that horse every time you fall off. The mind is persistent, but you are stronger! This will be the most important and rewarding 7 days of your life, so let's get started! 
If you're not using this time to rest, reset, and prioritise your purpose and people in your life, you my friend are wasting an opportunity you may never get again, the world literally stopped and shifted for you to get your shit together." This post dramatically shifted my mindset, it helped me to let go off the frustration I was feeling about all of the exciting things that had been happening in my life that had suddenly been whisked away. It helped me to see this situation as an opportunity. I made a firm pact with myself that I was not going to come out of this the same person. This is an important lesson for life, because whether it's a global pandemic, or some personal stressful or traumatic situation, or even just an irritating person in your life.... SHIT HAPPENS! And if you are breathing, you are going to experience adversity in your life. There are going to be people that upset you, situations that frustrate you, or daily annoyances to irritate you. The question to ask yourself is: AM I GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS OR GROW THROUGH THIS? Often situations can cause great pain, but you can decide, "I am not going to waste this pain by coming out the same!". AS YOU HEAD BACK OUT INTO THE WORLD, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WANT TO BE DIFFERENT... WHO IS THIS NEW IMPROVED VERSION OF YOU? GO OUT AND INTRODUCE 'THE NEW YOU' TO THE NEW WORLD....For me, the new me is someone who keeps her peace more of the time. I want to strive to achieve the state of serenity, that I learned about years ago in my first experiences of Yoga and meditation, and hold on to it for longer periods throughout the day. I don’t want to let the same people upset me, the same circumstances frustrate me. I'm determined not to allow what’s on the outside to get on the inside. I'm going to strive to not let the busy-ness that’s happening on the outside get on the inside. It can be busy on the outside, but still on the inside. This is my challenge to myself... WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME? In the midst of any adversity there is a place of peace inside that we can go to. Finding that place and developing the skill of going there is a massive step when it comes to building up resilience, and this is my daily goal. To me, this is now more important than what I achieve and accomplish in my day. If I ticked many things off my to-do list, but I lived my day stressed out and strung out, that is no longer a successful day to me. RESILIENCE : The capacity of a system, enterprise or person to maintain it's core purpose and integrity in the face of dramatically changed circumstances."
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 | In the ocean, on the surface the water is always changing depending on the wind and the tide.. It can be very smooth and calm in the morning, then later in the day it can be rough and choppy, there can be 5 metre waves, where a few days ago it was just small white caps. What’s interesting is, if you go down about 30 feet deep, the water never changes, it’s as calm and still as can be. Right above it on the surface it may change a dozen times a day, but 30 feet down it never changes, it's always calm. |
That’s the way we need to be. On the surface things will always be going on… you can’t get away from all the traffic, a person that irritates you, a challenge in your relationship, a challenge in your health - that's just life. These situations will create waves up on the surface, but deep down there is a calmness. Through practice, we can find that calmness and go there anytime, in any situation.
GO DEEPER - STAY CALM - KEEP YOUR PEACE
As we head out into the world, there will be frustrations due to the rules and regulations that are now imposed on us. Whether or not we agree or disagree, this reality is with us right now. Our only option is to go with it, and stay in peace.
Letting everything on the outside effect us means we are living a very shallow life, we’re focused on the surface, the problem is we can’t control the wind and the tide, and when we try we'll just get frustrated. We can’t control what other people do. The only thing we can control is our own attitude.
Letting everything on the outside effect us means we are living a very shallow life, we’re focused on the surface, the problem is we can’t control the wind and the tide, and when we try we'll just get frustrated. We can’t control what other people do. The only thing we can control is our own attitude.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Go deeper. The surface is always going to be changing, remember : as long as we are alive there is going to be something to deal with, but when we learn to go down to the deep waters, we can find this calmness, this rest. Whatever is on the surface is only temporary.... “This too shall pass”.
Life is too short to live it offended, upset, stressed out, discouraged....
EVERYDAY IS A GIFT!
Every day, I challenge you to start your day by pronouncing:
Life is too short to live it offended, upset, stressed out, discouraged....
EVERYDAY IS A GIFT!
Every day, I challenge you to start your day by pronouncing:
“Nothing is going to move me today, nothing is going to upset me. My plans may not work out, but I can and will stay in peace”.
There is a single force that controls the quality of your life.
Do you know what that force is?
What is the one power that you have right in this moment that can change everything?
We all have it - this one single power.
What is it?
Watch this video for a clue...
Do you know what that force is?
What is the one power that you have right in this moment that can change everything?
We all have it - this one single power.
What is it?
Watch this video for a clue...
The single force the controls the quality of your life, is your thoughts. And this video gives you some insight in to why.
Some may say it is our beliefs that determine our lives, and yes this is true, but if we break this down we will discover that our beliefs come from our thoughts. What is a belief except a thought that you once thought, and then you continued to think it over and over, until it became a belief.
The important and EXCITING thing about THOUGHTS is that they are also the ONE THING you have control over in this world.
YOU CAN CHOOSE WHAT YOU THINK.
As demonstrated in the video above, there is a constant cycle happening in your life ... the cycle goes like this : thoughts ... emotions ... behaviours ... outcomes ... thoughts ... emotions ... and on it goes.
Most of us are pretty much stuck unconsciously in this cycle, most of the time.
But you don't have to be. There's a single point of power in which you can break this cycle. That point of power, is the point of your thoughts.
There is nothing more powerful than changing your thoughts. You can try to change your circumstances, but if you don't change your thoughts, the same types of experiences end up happening over and over again, because you changed something outwardly, but nothing changed inwardly.
Right now, many people are going through challenging times, uncertain times, unsettling times. It is a time of great change and change can be extremely stressful. You may not be able to change your circumstances right now, you can not change your destination overnight, but you can change direction at any moment by changing your thoughts.
Of course if it were easy, everyone would be doing it! Negative thoughts are addictive and all consuming.
Here are a three steps to help you start to change your thoughts...
STEP ONE : Acknowledge the power of your thoughts.
Getting a sense for and grasping the incredible power of your thoughts is the greatest step you can take towards SELF EMPOWERMENT.
STEP TWO : Become conscious of your thoughts.
Consciously monitor your inner conversation. Pay attention to what your thoughts are saying to you. Notice how many of them are negative. Write them down if it helps.
STEP THREE : Replace thoughts that don't serve you, with new positive empowering thoughts.
You may not be able to stop negative thoughts coming to your mind, but you can choose not to entertain these thoughts. You can shut them down the moment they enter. You can say to yourself, 'No, I'm not going to accept that thought." Then you can replace it with a new thought. Withdraw your attention from the thoughts you don't want, and place your attention on thoughts you do want. This ability to control the direction of your attention, is the key to a happy life.
PLACE A PERMANENT SIGN AT THE DOORWAY TO YOUR MIND : NONE BUT THE POSITIVE AND THE GOOD SHALL ENTER HERE!
JUST START
There are many factors that cause you to think the thoughts you think ... habit, beliefs formed in childhood, beliefs passed on from your parents, the result of past experiences - good or bad... but you don't have to figure all of that out... you could very simply start today to take control by noticing and replacing the thoughts you don't want, with new thoughts. You may not be able to make a radical shift in one day, but you could start to break the cycle.
BUILD ON THE MOMENTUM
Start to notice how your new thoughts, lead to new ways of speaking and acting... and in turn lead to different outcomes in your life... which in turn make it easier to continue to think better thoughts. See how you can turn a negative cycle into a positive one, with just a little bit of effort in changing one thought at a time. Change the momentum from negative to positive, and then build on this momentum.
FROM WOO WOO TO SCIENCE
The power of thoughts was once seen as little 'woo woo', but now it's exciting that this idea is backed by massive amounts of science and research. The above video features world respected neuroscientist Dr Joe Dispenza... Academic researcher Dr Lucy Hone says, "We have a choice in how we think... ".
The KEY MESSAGE here is that it IS a choice. Sometimes it may not feel like you have a choice, thoughts are powerful, but you are stronger than any thought, and you have the power to change the thoughts that don't feel good.
Like anything, no amount of fact, science, research or expert testimony means a thing, if you don't apply the strategy in your life. Now it's time for your very own science experiment, with you as the guinea pig, get started right now, this very moment, on taking control of your thoughts, and discovering the results.
Happy thinking!
One of my go-to strategies in moments of overwhelm or despondency, is to pop in my headphones and listen to an inspiring, uplifting, insightful Youtube clip.
The reason I do this is because it's a means to flip the script that's playing in my mind. When that voice in my head is negative, it can be one of the hardest things to summon up the will to change what it's saying, it feels so real and so true and so all encompassing.
Rather than go to battle with that voice, it's much more effective and gentle to tune out that voice, and tune into a voice of hope and inspiration.
If you can find a way to believe something that is more empowering than you were believing a moment before, and that new belief can find its way into your actions... this is the secret to a horrible day becoming a wonderful day, or an average day becoming an exceptional day.
I have some favourites Youtube clips that I save and listen to over and over, or sometimes I'll just scroll through the Youtube feed and see what resonates with me at the time.
Last week, I came across this rendition of the 'Desiderata'. This powerful poem has been a favourite of mine for many years, and it seems so fitting in these challenging times.
To me, the 'Desiderata' portrays the perfect balance of ebb and flow, striving and surrendering, achievement and contentment, optimism and realism, discipline and gentleness... and encompasses all aspects of a happy and wholesome life.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and that it helps to flip your script... save it to your favourites and revisit it each day.
Below is the beautiful rendition Youtube video of the 'Desiderata', and also a PDF copy for you to print and pop up in your home or office. The more reminders you surround yourself with to trigger an empowering mindset, the better!
The reason I do this is because it's a means to flip the script that's playing in my mind. When that voice in my head is negative, it can be one of the hardest things to summon up the will to change what it's saying, it feels so real and so true and so all encompassing.
Rather than go to battle with that voice, it's much more effective and gentle to tune out that voice, and tune into a voice of hope and inspiration.
If you can find a way to believe something that is more empowering than you were believing a moment before, and that new belief can find its way into your actions... this is the secret to a horrible day becoming a wonderful day, or an average day becoming an exceptional day.
I have some favourites Youtube clips that I save and listen to over and over, or sometimes I'll just scroll through the Youtube feed and see what resonates with me at the time.
Last week, I came across this rendition of the 'Desiderata'. This powerful poem has been a favourite of mine for many years, and it seems so fitting in these challenging times.
To me, the 'Desiderata' portrays the perfect balance of ebb and flow, striving and surrendering, achievement and contentment, optimism and realism, discipline and gentleness... and encompasses all aspects of a happy and wholesome life.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and that it helps to flip your script... save it to your favourites and revisit it each day.
Below is the beautiful rendition Youtube video of the 'Desiderata', and also a PDF copy for you to print and pop up in your home or office. The more reminders you surround yourself with to trigger an empowering mindset, the better!
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By Ashlee Hickman - PEPTALK Magazine Youth Editor
 | As we nearly finish the fifth week of lockdown, I reflect on what the last five weeks have brought, what I have managed well and what I need to improve on, but most importantly how I can be a better, happier version of myself going into the next week. This is something I have challenged myself to think of each Sunday evening before a new week starts. |
| Another big thing for me to do each Sunday evening is write down some goals for the week around all aspects of life. When we do this the connection from thought in our brains, getting written down physically in front of us, makes it seem more realistic. Goals keep me motivated, productive and help me to appreciate the ones I have achieved, even if they're small. |  |
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Being a teenager, juggling school, out of school activities, youth editor of PEPTALK magazine, and my very own small business it's so crucial to keep a strong mental well-being, especially during the time we're going through right now. It's important to keep yourself busy, but relaxed, it's a great opportunity to get a breather from life's challenges. What I'm most excited for coming out of lockdown is adopting all of the new, good habits I have gained during this time. Such as, keeping a consistent morning and evening routine, working-out every week day and going hard at it, and learning to relax and enjoy time with my family.
So I challenge you tonight, before the next week ahead starts, ask yourself: What have I managed well? What do I need to improve on? How can I be the best version of myself? Plus try to set a couple of goals to keep you on course.
Have a great week,
So I challenge you tonight, before the next week ahead starts, ask yourself: What have I managed well? What do I need to improve on? How can I be the best version of myself? Plus try to set a couple of goals to keep you on course.
Have a great week,
Author of Atomic Habits James Clear is a bit of a Guru when it comes to habits. It's his specialty area and he has many excellent insights and strategies to share. The video below gives a great overview of some key factors to successfully building new habits.
Here are some key takeaways from the video:
- Habits are the compound interest of self improvement. Even a 1% change can make a difference, a 1% change compounds over time and you can end up at a very different place.
- We do not rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. Habits are the system behind the goal.
- Take whatever habit you’re wanting to achieve and scale it down to a small thing you can do each day.
- How long does it take to build a habit? The hard truth is - FOREVER. Once you stop doing it, it’s no longer a habit. How long will it take before it becomes easy? Habits are not a finish line to be crossed, they are a lifestyle to be lived. Look for lifestyle changes that you can sustain.
- The environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behaviour. So many of our habits are just a reaction to the cues that are in our environment. eg. walk into the kitchen, see a plate of cookies, and eat one. How can you change your environment to set yourself up for success?
Habit Strategy - try it
MAKE IT EASIER ON YOURSELF
The best way to break a bad habit is to make it impossible to do. And the best way to create a good habit is to automate it so you never have to think about it again.
There are certain one-time-actions you can take to help make forming new habits, or stop repeating old habits. These are actions that set yourself up for success.
James surveyed his readers on their favourite onetime actions that lead to better long-term habits. Here are a few of the popular answers…
Nutrition: Use smaller plates to reduce caloric intake.
Sleep: Remove your television (or phone) from your bedroom.
Productivity: Delete games and social media apps from your phone.
Focus: Set your phone in Do Not Disturb mode.
Happiness: Get a dog.
Health: Buy better shoes to avoid back pain.
Finance: Visit a Financial Advisor and set up a budget plan, with checks and measures in place.
These illustrate a range a simple onetime actions... you're only limited by your imagination, what could you do to make a habit easier to form?
There are certain one-time-actions you can take to help make forming new habits, or stop repeating old habits. These are actions that set yourself up for success.
James surveyed his readers on their favourite onetime actions that lead to better long-term habits. Here are a few of the popular answers…
Nutrition: Use smaller plates to reduce caloric intake.
Sleep: Remove your television (or phone) from your bedroom.
Productivity: Delete games and social media apps from your phone.
Focus: Set your phone in Do Not Disturb mode.
Happiness: Get a dog.
Health: Buy better shoes to avoid back pain.
Finance: Visit a Financial Advisor and set up a budget plan, with checks and measures in place.
These illustrate a range a simple onetime actions... you're only limited by your imagination, what could you do to make a habit easier to form?
Habit Strategy - try it
THE HABIT SCORECARD
James says, "One of our greatest challenges in changing habits is maintaining awareness of what we are actually doing." We don't see the consequences of bad habits in the moment, but they can sneak up on us. Creating a Habits Scorecard is a simple exercise you can use to become more aware of your behaviour, and then modify it.
Follow James's instructions below on how to create a habits scorecard.
To create your own Habits Scorecard, start by making a list of your daily habits.
Example:
Once you have a full list, look at each behaviour, and ask yourself, “Is this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?” If it is a good habit, write “+” next to it. If it is a bad habit, write “–”. If it is a neutral habit, write “=”.
For example, the list above might look like this:
An important side note:
Scoring your habits can be a bit more complex than just stating good, bad, or neutral.
James says, 'The labels “good habit” and “bad habit” are slightly inaccurate. There are no good habits or bad habits. There are only effective habits. That is, effective at solving problems. All habits serve you in some way—even the bad ones—which is why you repeat them.'
When completing your Habits Scorecard, you should categorise your habits by how they will benefit you in the long run. Generally speaking:
- Good habits will have net positive outcomes.
- Bad habits have net negative outcomes.
eg. Smoking a cigarette may reduce stress right now (that’s how it’s serving you), but it’s not a healthy long-term behaviour.
Still having trouble deciding if a particular habit is good or bad, here are two pertinent questions to ask yourself:
Follow James's instructions below on how to create a habits scorecard.
To create your own Habits Scorecard, start by making a list of your daily habits.
Example:
- Wake up
- Turn off alarm
- Check my phone
- Go to the bathroom
- Weigh myself
- Take a shower
- Brush my teeth
- Floss my teeth
- Put on deodorant
- Hang up towel to dry
- Get dressed
- Make a cup of tea
Once you have a full list, look at each behaviour, and ask yourself, “Is this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?” If it is a good habit, write “+” next to it. If it is a bad habit, write “–”. If it is a neutral habit, write “=”.
For example, the list above might look like this:
- Wake up =
- Turn off alarm =
- Check my phone –
- Go to the bathroom =
- Weigh myself +
- Take a shower +
- Brush my teeth +
- Floss my teeth +
- Put on deodorant +
- Hang up towel to dry =
- Get dressed =
- Make a cup of tea +
An important side note:
Scoring your habits can be a bit more complex than just stating good, bad, or neutral.
James says, 'The labels “good habit” and “bad habit” are slightly inaccurate. There are no good habits or bad habits. There are only effective habits. That is, effective at solving problems. All habits serve you in some way—even the bad ones—which is why you repeat them.'
When completing your Habits Scorecard, you should categorise your habits by how they will benefit you in the long run. Generally speaking:
- Good habits will have net positive outcomes.
- Bad habits have net negative outcomes.
eg. Smoking a cigarette may reduce stress right now (that’s how it’s serving you), but it’s not a healthy long-term behaviour.
Still having trouble deciding if a particular habit is good or bad, here are two pertinent questions to ask yourself:
“Does this behaviour help me become the type of person I wish to be?"
“Does this behaviour move me closer towards, or further away from my goal?"
“Does this behaviour move me closer towards, or further away from my goal?"
The 'Will I...' challenge is simple, but life transforming. It allows you to harness your power of choices, it helps you experience the incredible amount of WILLPOWER you possess, it shows you that you CAN decide in each moment how you will react, act, think and be... and what a profound impact this has on your life experience.
POSITIVE CHOICES - STEP BY STEP:
1. First, read over the poem below.
2. Click the link below and print out the poem.
3. Put the poem on up on the wall and ready it several times a day.
4. In as many moments as possible throughout the day, become aware of your ability to make a conscious choice and ask yourself the relevant line from the poem :
"Will I …. , or Will I …. ?"
POSITIVE CHOICES - STEP BY STEP:
1. First, read over the poem below.
2. Click the link below and print out the poem.
3. Put the poem on up on the wall and ready it several times a day.
4. In as many moments as possible throughout the day, become aware of your ability to make a conscious choice and ask yourself the relevant line from the poem :
"Will I …. , or Will I …. ?"
Will I wish my life away or... Will I acknowledge the fleetingness of this life and appreciate every breath and every moment?
Will I freak out or... Will I chill out?
Will I resist against what is happening or... Will I accept this moment?
Will I react or... Will I relax?
Will I fight to prove my ‘right-ness’ or... Will I let go and stay in peace?
Will I live as though the world is against me or... Will I live as though everything is rigged in my favour?
Will I spend my energy trying to change or control others or... Will I dedicate my energy to controlling my inner thoughts and emotions?
Will I be ordinary or... Will I be extraordinary?
Will I stay stuck in my ways or... Will I be open minded?
Will I complain or... Will I appreciate?
Will I see lack or... Will I see abundance?
Will I live in thoughts of the past and of the future or... Will I live ONLY in this present moment?
Will I be limited to what my mind can conceive or... Will I allow my heart to dream big and fulfil my unlimited potential?
Will I view life as hard work or... Will I see life as a joyous journey?
Will I resist against and complain about challenges or... Will I see
challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow?
Will I believe the world is against me or... Will I believe the world is for me?
Will I hate or... Will I love?
Will I doubt or... Will I have faith?
Will I get caught up in drama or... Will I rise above it?
Will I gossip, criticise, judge, compare or... Will I mind my own business?
Will I be absorbed by my emotions or... Will I stand back and get a broader view?
Will I be closed or... Will I be open to a different perspective?
Will I be angry or... I will I take a deep breath and let it go?
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. ADD YOUR OWN : Will I or... Will I...
Will I freak out or... Will I chill out?
Will I resist against what is happening or... Will I accept this moment?
Will I react or... Will I relax?
Will I fight to prove my ‘right-ness’ or... Will I let go and stay in peace?
Will I live as though the world is against me or... Will I live as though everything is rigged in my favour?
Will I spend my energy trying to change or control others or... Will I dedicate my energy to controlling my inner thoughts and emotions?
Will I be ordinary or... Will I be extraordinary?
Will I stay stuck in my ways or... Will I be open minded?
Will I complain or... Will I appreciate?
Will I see lack or... Will I see abundance?
Will I live in thoughts of the past and of the future or... Will I live ONLY in this present moment?
Will I be limited to what my mind can conceive or... Will I allow my heart to dream big and fulfil my unlimited potential?
Will I view life as hard work or... Will I see life as a joyous journey?
Will I resist against and complain about challenges or... Will I see
challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow?
Will I believe the world is against me or... Will I believe the world is for me?
Will I hate or... Will I love?
Will I doubt or... Will I have faith?
Will I get caught up in drama or... Will I rise above it?
Will I gossip, criticise, judge, compare or... Will I mind my own business?
Will I be absorbed by my emotions or... Will I stand back and get a broader view?
Will I be closed or... Will I be open to a different perspective?
Will I be angry or... I will I take a deep breath and let it go?
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. ADD YOUR OWN : Will I or... Will I...
Need uplifting reading material during lockdown and after?
PEPTALK Magazine is bringing mental wellbeing strategies to kiwis right now, when we need it the most. We have 1000 copies to gift to help you feel good & thrive during this time...click below to sign up to receive your free magazine.
You may have seen the poem below on social media in recent days. We thought this was so beautiful... timeless... and what a poignant reminder that we're not alone in this. Others, billions of others, have been through similar and much worse throughout time. These are not unprecedented times, seasons come and seasons go, and it's so important to roll with that ebb and flow of life. Try not to fight it, but rather, grasp the lessons, learn new ways of living, create a new, healthier normal, rest and heal.
We've created a print out version of this poem so you can print it out and pop it up on your way for daily inspiration... click here to download
We've created a print out version of this poem so you can print it out and pop it up on your way for daily inspiration... click here to download
 Love this poem? Download it below... | And people stayed at home And read books And listened And they rested And did exercises And made art and played And learned new ways of being And stopped and listened More deeply Someone meditated, someone prayed Someone met their shadow And people began to think differently And people healed. And in the absence of people who Lived in ignorant ways Dangerous, meaningless and heartless, The earth also began to heal And when the danger ended and People found themselves They grieved for the dead And made new choices And dreamed of new visions And created new ways of living And completely healed the earth Just as they were healed. Written in 1869 by Kathleen O’Mara. Reprinted during Spanish flu Pandemic, 1919 Photo taken during Spanish flu |
Need uplifting reading material during lockdown?
PEPTALK Magazine is bringing mental wellbeing strategies to kiwis right now, when we need it the most. We have 1000 copies to gift to help you feel good & thrive during this time...click below to sign up to receive your free magazine.
I have a confession to make, the last week I’ve been struggling.
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place.
It feels like everything that was exciting got whisked away, and in a blink there was a totally different picture.
Each day is like a rollercoaster, I start off fresh and recommitted to feeling good, but then things go downhill from there, by mid afternoon I've spiralled all the way down to feeling completely miserable and hopeless.
It’s hard to admit that I feel this way. How dare I! When everyone else is facing similar disappointments, and many are facing much much worse.
As I sit on my bed (my new office) and write this, every five minutes or so, another child comes in to tell me something, show me something, ask me something... with each interruption my patience wears a little thinner, I take deep breaths, I try to relax… but there are times, like now, that I can’t help but snap at one of them, and then comes the guilt and the thoughts of self criticism, ‘I’m a terrible mother, I should be more patient, I shouldn’t be working, I should just give up on all of this, who am I kidding, I should forget everything else and be a wife and a mum….’ And on and on it goes.
But hold on, I’m the one who’s suppose to be giving the pep talks! I’m supposed to uplift and inspire, I'm supposed to focus on the good, and express gratitude all of the time.
What a fraud!
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place.
It feels like everything that was exciting got whisked away, and in a blink there was a totally different picture.
Each day is like a rollercoaster, I start off fresh and recommitted to feeling good, but then things go downhill from there, by mid afternoon I've spiralled all the way down to feeling completely miserable and hopeless.
It’s hard to admit that I feel this way. How dare I! When everyone else is facing similar disappointments, and many are facing much much worse.
As I sit on my bed (my new office) and write this, every five minutes or so, another child comes in to tell me something, show me something, ask me something... with each interruption my patience wears a little thinner, I take deep breaths, I try to relax… but there are times, like now, that I can’t help but snap at one of them, and then comes the guilt and the thoughts of self criticism, ‘I’m a terrible mother, I should be more patient, I shouldn’t be working, I should just give up on all of this, who am I kidding, I should forget everything else and be a wife and a mum….’ And on and on it goes.
But hold on, I’m the one who’s suppose to be giving the pep talks! I’m supposed to uplift and inspire, I'm supposed to focus on the good, and express gratitude all of the time.
What a fraud!
 | Or maybe not… It occurred to me this rainy Sunday afternoon, while pondering my Monday morning PEPTALK, the only thing that could make me a fraud is pretending that I don’t think negative thoughts and feel awful sometimes, or often. |
I didn’t start this business called PEPTALK because I was the perfect picture of positivity. I didn’t start it because I feel happy all of the time. I didn’t start it because I always do the right things by myself and others. I didn’t start it because I’m some sort of perfect presence of calm and composure.
I started PEPTALK because I am the opposite. I’m imperfect and I struggle, A LOT, to keep myself feeling good mentally.
I started PEPTALK because I’m prone to depression, I’m prone to feeling sorry for myself, I’m prone to lacking confidence, I’m prone to anxiety, I’m prone to negative self talk, I’m prone to worrying what others think of me, I’m prone to reacting, I’m prone to beating up on myself...
I started PEPTALK because I’m prone to all of these things… but I learnt strategies that helped me, and I worked to consistently apply them, and when I applied them I felt better and better, more and more of the time, and that felt amazing and empowering. I then learnt more strategies that were backed by science, that didn’t just work for me, but worked for people universally the whole world over, and I felt a strong calling to share these strategies with others.
I started PEPTALK because even though I now know strategies that work, even though I know I should do the things like: focus on the good, practice gratitude, and engage my strengths… it’s not easy for me to always apply these strategies and I’m sure there are other people like me, who also need constant reminders, encouragement, and PEPTALKS!
I started PEPTALK because I find it damn hard to constantly, proactively build my mental wellbeing, but I discovered that when I do, it’s sooooooo sooooo worth it! It’s so worth it to feel great, to manage stress well, to be full of energy, vitality and enthusiasm for life; to feel confident and self assured; to have patience and to treat those around me with love and kindness; to laugh and have fun with them; to engage in my passion and live with purpose; to be creative and productive… these are some of the many payoffs I get from working hard on my mental health everyday, and it’s so worth it.
This is why I’m passionate about and super proud of the inaugural issue of PEPTALK magazine… the brakes may have been put on our big launch, but I won't put the brakes on getting this magazine out to those who it can help, especially right now.
I’ve decided to give 1000 copies of our first issue away for free! Because it feels right, and I know it can provide such benefit to so many. If you’d like to receive a free copy of PEPTALK magazine delivered to your mailbox click here, and then pass this on to others you know who could benefit also.
It's worth it to learn the skills that work and apply them, it's worth it to feel good, great, or bloody fantastic, even in times when it's hard to. It's worth it to know the empowering truth that, no matter how deep the hole or how gloomy the outlook, you can climb your way out, and enjoy it while you do. This is as much a reminder to me, as it is to you.
Kia Kaha!
I started PEPTALK because I am the opposite. I’m imperfect and I struggle, A LOT, to keep myself feeling good mentally.
I started PEPTALK because I’m prone to depression, I’m prone to feeling sorry for myself, I’m prone to lacking confidence, I’m prone to anxiety, I’m prone to negative self talk, I’m prone to worrying what others think of me, I’m prone to reacting, I’m prone to beating up on myself...
I started PEPTALK because I’m prone to all of these things… but I learnt strategies that helped me, and I worked to consistently apply them, and when I applied them I felt better and better, more and more of the time, and that felt amazing and empowering. I then learnt more strategies that were backed by science, that didn’t just work for me, but worked for people universally the whole world over, and I felt a strong calling to share these strategies with others.
I started PEPTALK because even though I now know strategies that work, even though I know I should do the things like: focus on the good, practice gratitude, and engage my strengths… it’s not easy for me to always apply these strategies and I’m sure there are other people like me, who also need constant reminders, encouragement, and PEPTALKS!
I started PEPTALK because I find it damn hard to constantly, proactively build my mental wellbeing, but I discovered that when I do, it’s sooooooo sooooo worth it! It’s so worth it to feel great, to manage stress well, to be full of energy, vitality and enthusiasm for life; to feel confident and self assured; to have patience and to treat those around me with love and kindness; to laugh and have fun with them; to engage in my passion and live with purpose; to be creative and productive… these are some of the many payoffs I get from working hard on my mental health everyday, and it’s so worth it.
This is why I’m passionate about and super proud of the inaugural issue of PEPTALK magazine… the brakes may have been put on our big launch, but I won't put the brakes on getting this magazine out to those who it can help, especially right now.
I’ve decided to give 1000 copies of our first issue away for free! Because it feels right, and I know it can provide such benefit to so many. If you’d like to receive a free copy of PEPTALK magazine delivered to your mailbox click here, and then pass this on to others you know who could benefit also.
It's worth it to learn the skills that work and apply them, it's worth it to feel good, great, or bloody fantastic, even in times when it's hard to. It's worth it to know the empowering truth that, no matter how deep the hole or how gloomy the outlook, you can climb your way out, and enjoy it while you do. This is as much a reminder to me, as it is to you.
Kia Kaha!
Authors
Nadine Hickman
