This week I was planning to give you some actionable ways to start practicing gratitude, or ramp up your gratitude practice. (I still will via Instagram).

 

However, I've been pondering a few ideas about why being grateful is so hard to do.

 

I think this is important to address, because there's one, and only one, reason why gratitude won't work for you -

 

Gratitude doesn't work, because you don't do it. 

There's a resistance to gratitude and I think it's because - 

1. We doubt the claims of its seemingly magical wonders, and see it as a little fluffy.
2. We're afraid that if we take our eyes off our problems for a moment to focus on our blessings, our problems will overcome us. We fear we'll somehow drop the ball on life and all of our very important responsibilities. We think that "doing life" requires that we be serious, be real.

In this Peptalk I'm going to focus on our fear and resistance to practicing gratitude, and how to overcome this. 

 

There's a logical, scientific explanation for your fears.

They stem from a pesky trait your brain has called 'The Negativity Bias'.

 

What is this and how do you overcome it?

 

If you haven't heard of 'The Negativity Bias', in a nutshell, it's the evolutionary trait of your brain and nervous system to focus on the negative, or things you perceive to be threatening to you. 

 

For our ancestors, this was a necessary trait because every day they faced life-threatening situations. They couldn't turn their attention to the beautiful flowers in the field, because there was a good chance that a vicious wild beast would come bounding out of that field. 

 

This wiring has been passed down to you through the ages, and even though you know your modern day stresses and worries are not life-threatening, your brain hasn't caught on.

 

You need to teach your brain that it's OK. 

 

"It's OK, if I focus on the positive, I won't die. In fact, I will live more fully".

 

 

Overcoming The Negativity Bias / Changing Your Brain

 

Science used to think that our brains were fixed.

But then a revolutionary discovery - 
 

This idea that we're stuck with what we're born with is false.
(now there's something to be grateful for!)

 

Over the last 30+ years, neuroscience has unequivocally proven that our brains are not fixed as previously thought. We can change our brains through the thoughts we think and the experiences we expose ourselves to. 

This ability your brain has to change is called Neuroplasticity. 

 

Neuroplasticity means you can train your brain. You can literally rewire your brain, 

form new connections, new tendencies, and new traits.

 

 

Gratitude is a moment by moment choice to look at the positive aspects
of a person, situation, or thing; or not to.

 

 

By gently nudging your brain every day with the thoughts you think and what you focus on, you can teach your brain that it's OK to focus on the positive - 

 

If you take your eyes off your problems, worries, and concerns, if you 'turn the other cheek', these problems, worries, and concerns won't overcome you. 

 

Don't believe me? Take an honest look, you'll see a pattern.

 

Most of your worries never end up happening, or they sort themselves out.

In fact, more often than not, your meddling only  complicates the issue.

 

Plus, if there IS something that requires your attention and action, you'll be in a much better position to deal with it from a mindset of gratitude and seeing the good. 

 

In time, you can change your brain so that its natural default is to see the positive. 
At this stage, gratitude becomes more natural and easy to do.

 

Until then, you've got to put in the work. 

 

There's no quick fix, changing your brain requires that you - 
 

1. Become more conscious (aware of) what you're thinking about.
2. Have constant vigilance about the thoughts you choose.
3. Use your willpower to force yourself to look for and be thankful for the good in your life.

Gratitude requires that you give it a go, so you can see for yourself what science is trying to tell you. 

 

Throughout this week I'll share actionable gratitude strategies via Instagram.

 

Follow PEPTALK on Instagram if you don't already,

tune in, give these strategies a go.

As always, you have absolutely nothing to lose,

and so much to gain.

 

I'll sign off with a poem I wrote inspired by this topic.

Perhaps you'd like to print it and pop it up on your wall. 

 

Here's a printable PDF version

 

Put On Your Rose-Tinted Glasses 

 

Put on your rose-tinted glasses,

Just try it for a day,

Go on a treasure hunt for goodness,

And see what comes your way.

 

Why wear your concerns like a badge of honor?

When there’s no prize for the problem of the day,

No reward for your hours of rumination,

No virtue in painting the world a shade of grey,

 

Look out into the world and see,

The peace, kindness, and joy that's there,

These things, they do exist,

Don’t hide them from your view.

 

Through your magical lenses you can see,

The goodness in the people,

The lessons in your failures,

And the blessings in your challenges.

 

Your rose-tinted glasses can turn,

Your can’ts into can’s,

Your problems into possibilities,

Your “have-to do’s” into “get-to-do’s”.

 

It really is ok,

To put on your rose-tinted glasses,

Your feet will stay on the ground,

Your head won’t get stuck in the clouds.

 

Your problems won’t overcome you,

Your world won’t fall apart,

It may even come together,

In the most beautiful and unimaginable ways.

 

 

Here's a printable PDF version